navelgazer: flibbertigibbet & noodler

the hats of christmas

nobody@vox.com(navelgazer) — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 11:50:46 -0600

Hat_beth

Hat_barb

Hat_chris

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ho ho holiday

nobody@vox.com(navelgazer) — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 09:20:12 -0600

sparklebaum

spent xmas with the future inlaws (which sounds totally scifi) in the south burbs. this holiday already has been most relaxing, welcoming and familial: full of tasty eats made by several different sets of beloved hands; a new stocking with "floyd" glitterscript by "grandma"; cards and packages by post including little schoolboy cookies, a cheese-making kit, and a hand-spun, -dyed, and -knitted hat from my sister. we welcome a new learning guitar into the house for the shower crooner. watched "julia and julie" this afternoon and identified so much with its chaotic women and their quietly brilliant men.

[interlude: at the moment floyd is giving the toy some love in a fashion that feels utterly wrong to us to witness.]

ten. daaaaaays. without any work schedule. open air and wide open space. we're planning a couple of mini-adventures, getting out and about, packing cameras and setting out to discover fragile dilapidations or inspiring conglomeroddities out along the Somewheres Roadside. we'll see what turns up, which is the point. and I'm booking some playtable time, for sure-- got a start xmas eve eve-- started out with wrapping and kind of took off. glue now sits drying, ideas jelling amid cluttered and resifted cutouts. I foresee several cups of cocoa, cups of tea, glasses of wine in the days ahead. this is the friday night of the long holiday stretch. staring down the double barrel of 2010 and 43-- out of the aughts we go!

I have been remembering to articulate the need for TIME. just to be, time without feeling rushed or late for or behind on one thing or another. really I have missed timelessness. to have it, even in small sputtering doses and within a confined space before returning to whatever ordinary routine, defined of course in part by having a routine to return to-- this feels like such a gift just now.

and quiet deeply craved... tho my inner mouth yearns to say "craven", just all kinds of wrong meaning, obstinately meaning-full language. logic foiling the tastiness of the straight and curly sound of things. a frequent trouble in my poetry days-- I'd let myself go traipsing down some nonsense for the pure auditory seduction in words, of letters thrown together in loving hodge-podge, and then wind up amounting to what, exactly? ah, yeoldesaga of sarah's tumultuous relationship with writing-- fraught with long silences and adverbial clot, the struggles with and hellyeah against meaning.

o, hello, quiet to listen through all this hubbub, the engine-starting, throat-clearing first paragraphs of getting down into the underneath and moving it forward. by gum and golly. Ima be moving it forward. that's the deal. into the fear. right into the jaws of a host of discomforts. toward the other side, up over the wall.

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weekend statistics

nobody@vox.com(navelgazer) — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 08:29:12 -0600

marietta's oatmeal bread

loaves of oatmeal-heavy-on-the-molasses bread baked: 3
pots of tuscan white bean and swiss chard soup made with thanksgiving turkey stock: 1
big screen movies watched (2012-- woo! upheavals!): 1
good long walks with chris & floyd: 1
naps: 2
cups of hot cocoa: 2
loads of laundry put away: 4
hours of rolly polly puppy play time: infinite

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bronc with rider

nobody@vox.com(navelgazer) — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 16:07:11 -0600

12032009(001).jpg

12032009.jpg

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insufficiently caffienated, or something.

nobody@vox.com(navelgazer) — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 09:21:36 -0600

rattled this morning, set coffee cup on top of car while lifting floyd up and in. drove to work in grey funk. pulled into parking lot, killed engine, and suddenly remembered coffee. got out, and voila, cup on its side, trapped by luggage rack-- with still a couple of sips of (now iced) coffee inside!

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floyd assists darcie with graphic design

nobody@vox.com(navelgazer) — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 13:43:39 -0600

12012009(004).jpg

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winged beast

nobody@vox.com(navelgazer) — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 09:36:35 -0600

not quite clear exactly how it came about this morning, but suddenly everything is terrible. not where I want to be, or doing what I want to do. just everything. marked pattern of a distortion, and I know that although it feels utterly real, this is an illusion that will pass. keep shaking off the dark thing perched on my shoulders, stretching my back and taking a deep breath, stepping forward foot by foot, only to have it settle its heavy shadow once more. this thing has pursued me the length of conscious memory, with blessed stretches of unblemished sunlit daytimes and mornings and even bright evenings, whole weeks when it seems to have retreated to some moldy stinking grotto, only to return again and again and again.

exhausting.

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lovely weekend visitor

nobody@vox.com(navelgazer) — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 12:13:46 -0600

floyd (and chris and I) enjoyed a delightful holiday weekend visit with treats of all kinds from miz kristin, book artist extraordinaire and all-around phenomenal person.

kristin & floyd

kristin, me & floyd

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puppy perched

nobody@vox.com(navelgazer) — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 08:22:19 -0600

... on my lap, sniffing roasting turkey aromas wafting from the kitchen.

11282009.jpg

turkey haze

oops-- lovely aroma quickly turns into a houseful of drippings-smoke! good morning, smoke alarm. ;)

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a little lighter

nobody@vox.com(navelgazer) — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 12:34:28 -0600

he's back and full of piss and vinegar! :)

112509_floydback1

and is sporting a nifty new little green tattoo, though I don't think you can see it in this photo:

112509_floydback2

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